The Pink Bicycle Gourmet Burger Joint | 1008 Blanshard St. | Victoria

Update:  Since this review was published I have returned to the Pink Bicycle and tried the Black Bean Burger, which was very good.  That said, I stand by my statement that the quality of their meals is uneven.

"Nobody's perfect" is one of those maxims that is not only true, but comforting as well.  We all make mistakes, some of them little, like forgetting to turn off the coffee pot before you leave for work.  Others seemed little at the time - that chocolate-powered five-year-old blowing through your living room on Christmas Day like a tornado made of underoos and wrapping paper, for example.  Knowing that we're not the only ones makes it easier.  Hell, in professional baseball you're considered a roaring success if you perform your job correctly one-third of the time.  The legendary Ty Cobb has the distinction of holding a career batting average of .364, the highest in major league history which is a big deal for those of you who don't follow this kind of thing. This means that the most consistent hitter in major league history only did his job right 36.4% of the time and has been immortalized for it.  If the restaurant business had the same kind of standards there would be Great Cannon Pizza outlets all over the city but mercifully that's not the case.  In this business if you screw up 70% of the time you will very shortly end up in receivership and be forced to face your public and have rotten vegetables thrown at you.  That is, of course, unless your establishments happens to have the location, short skirts & shiny brass geegaws to mask your total lack of quality or personality.  Up until today the Pink Bicycle has had quality in spades.  If we're going to continue flogging sports metaphors you could say that up until today they'd batted 1000.

It's Christmas Time Again

Christmas is a busy time of year for us here at Largely the Truth.  We are driven to eat everything within arm's reach while remaining mobile enough to pick up the phone and command Dan to deliver more.  I'd like to say that the reason we do is that we run a food blog but the sad, simple truth is that we are gluttons.  Handsome gluttons.  Actually this year it seems like Max is watching his girlish figure so the burden of tradition falls on my broad shoulders and I have sworn to Crom that I shall bear it proudly.  The table in our dining room is lined with enough sweets to give Type 2 diabetes to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and at our current pace I expect Nicky & I to be bleeding syrup inside a week.  I've always said that for me Christmas is crafted from beautiful lights, music & the people I love rather than gifts & an abundance of food.  While that still holds true I'd be lying if I said the box of Turtles wasn't a happy bonus.

Ma Miller's Pub at the Goldstream Inn | 2903 Sooke Lake Rd. | Goldstream

Update, March 28, 2012:  Ma Miller's Pub has become Twin Peaks, a Hooters-style pub.   There is some debate as to whether this location is part of the US Twin Peaks chain or has cribbed their logo.  The US site does not list a Canadian arm.  I haven't been to Twin Peaks yet but I assume the food is average and the view...inspiring.

Update, February 18, 2014:  Twin Peaks did not last and eventually Ma Miller's re-opened.  Now, word is that they are again about to close the doors.

My grandmother, bless her soul, tried for most of my young life to teach me important values, things like “cleanliness is next to Godliness” and “never judge a book by its cover”. Unfortunately these lessons were lumped in with other material that forbade things much closer to my heart: “stop eating, you’re going to explode” and “if you fart in church again God will send you to hell”. Poor lesson planning like this meant that many of her pearls of wisdom were thrown out with the mental bathwater and the older I get, the more I realize that some those things would have served me well after she was gone. My entire school career would have been considerably more illustrious had I not judged many books by their covers. At the time, I reasoned if a weighty tome was named "Dithering Heights" or "A Short Walk Up a Hill" and had a cover that featured demure women in frocks sitting down to tea, they were unlikely to include scenes of frantic mud-wrestling in which those frocks were torn asunder as the women vied for the love of wealthy Lord Pennyfeather. My time thus saved I would replace the book on the shelf and continue on to the volumes with that had more promising covers, were considerably smaller and most importantly, could be held in one hand. There is no spot on the honor roll for the student who writes a book report on “Sherry Has Low Standards & No Knickers On”.