West Coast Tap House | 829 McCallum Road | Langford

Note:  This article was meant to be accompanied by photographs but the shots I took were so awful that you, dear reader, do not deserve to have them inflicted upon you.  Trust me.

It’s a sad fact that at this point in my life I prefer coffee shops to bars.  Not because I suddenly crave the company of self-important anorectics hardwired into their MacBook pros, but because in a coffee shop one may enjoy a drink in relative peace.  The loudest thing you’re likely to hear is light jazz and the soft tap of a keyboard as someone in a turtleneck writes bad poetry about the pale, distant girl who left them when their sweater went out of style

Remember, Remember, the Reason For Movember

"I'm like, a hero, man."

Let's get this out of the way now: I cannot grow a proper mustache to save my life. So does that mean craven envy is what drives me to say Movember is a monthlong reminder that we have lost the ability to be honest with ourselves? Not at all. What drives me is the notion that some people have decided that neglecting to shave for 30 days somehow makes them noble.

Last Call: Render Unto Caesar

Last Call is a new feature.  Every two weeks a new story, 300-500 words, usually taking place in a bar, pub, or nightclub.  They're true enough but names have been changed to protect the innocent.  And the not-so-innocent.

Kamloops, B.C.  Cactus Jack’s. 

The place is choked with six-foot cowboys wearing hats the size of Dobermans and belt buckles like satellite dishes.  Pop-country blaring from the speakers.  Wilson dragged me here.  I don’t know why.  A waitress in jean-shorts and a crop top walks past.  I look at Wilson.  The Beard nods.  I get it.